When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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