i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
