We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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