I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
