I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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