Already got asked if we're dating
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
