dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
