All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
