If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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