I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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