My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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