If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
