DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
