We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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