So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
