wat bout pragnant strippers??
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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