so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
