billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i came on her dog
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
