imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
