you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
