I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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