Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
soo... how was my night?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
