Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
