I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
