In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
