I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
