somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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