i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
