I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
