you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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