I want to stick my p in your. b.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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