I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I AM VODKA MAN
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
