I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
