He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
