It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
