so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
