And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Randomize