After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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