We're facebook friends in real life
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize