So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
