I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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