I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
And then he peed in my hair
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
