Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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