people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize