iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
