You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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