TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
