Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize