naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
