Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
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