Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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