She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize