I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize