he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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