Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize