I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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