That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
