This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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