i don't like sucking hair
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
