all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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