I wish I could teleport
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
