i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
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