For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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