The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
